i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
