I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
