I got chris browned last night
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
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Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
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I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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