She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize