she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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