Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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