my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
