So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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