she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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