I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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