you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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