I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
