i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
