This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
