Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
