oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
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