Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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