I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
tell me about the eggs
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