guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
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Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
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I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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