I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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