just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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