what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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