We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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