I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
