dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
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