oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
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