whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Can i not drive my cunt home
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
