i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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