you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize