do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
my liver is dry heaving
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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