barbara walters just said penis...
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Walk of Shame today included voting.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
