Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
