have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
