didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
