Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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