they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
