Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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