i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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