I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
