those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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