Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize