Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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