Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
