saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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