wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
