Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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