Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
