Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night

(586): View more from Michigan

2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street

(586): View more from Michigan

3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call

(586): View more from Michigan

So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you

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(586): 1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night (586): 2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street (586): 3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call (586): So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you http://tfl.nu/crcb

Replies (8) Good night (1711) Bad night (457)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.

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(204): It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker. http://tfl.nu/sreq

Replies (8) Good night (3950) Bad night (595)
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(319): View more from Iowa

yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.

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(319): yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face. http://tfl.nu/jfup

Replies (17) Good night (597) Bad night (2375)
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(925): View more from California

You make homosexuality sound like a cult.

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(925): You make homosexuality sound like a cult. http://tfl.nu/swwi

Replies (20) Good night (1019) Bad night (2755)
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(616): View more from Michigan

HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.

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(616): HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE. http://tfl.nu/qa6s

Replies (25) Good night (1339) Bad night (4059)
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(949): View more from California

The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.

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(949): The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women. http://tfl.nu/zhxo

Replies (22) Good night (6416) Bad night (3071)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.

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(773): Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years. http://tfl.nu/9eix

Replies (10) Good night (6322) Bad night (1174)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable

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(608): dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable http://tfl.nu/uv0g

Replies (8) Good night (2872) Bad night (1108)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.

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(+44): Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS. http://tfl.nu/15we

Replies (16) Good night (1651) Bad night (3388)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.

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(617): I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition. http://tfl.nu/v2i1

Replies (3) Good night (2299) Bad night (939)
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(229): View more from Georgia

They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME

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(229): They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME http://tfl.nu/jm4f

Replies (5) Good night (1239) Bad night (2194)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Why didn't I see you last night!?

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.

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(203): Why didn't I see you last night!? (1-203): We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you. http://tfl.nu/iqgq

Replies (6) Good night (5230) Bad night (709)
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(913): View more from Kansas

Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.

(1-913): View more from Kansas

Happy birthday, America.

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(913): Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there. (1-913): Happy birthday, America. http://tfl.nu/2w6l

Replies (3) Good night (652) Bad night (206)
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(613): View more from Ontario

Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital

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(613): Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital http://tfl.nu/nh6p

Replies (8) Good night (1501) Bad night (337)
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(585): View more from New York

You get home okay?

(1-585): View more from New York

I'm pantless and in bed

(585): View more from New York

That doesn't mean you're at home.

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(585): You get home okay? (1-585): I'm pantless and in bed (585): That doesn't mean you're at home. http://tfl.nu/bq7s

Replies (2) Good night (1173) Bad night (271)

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