I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
