Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.