ADVERTISEMENT

• (410): View more from Maryland

  I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk

  Fav 85 5828 1059

  share tweet
  

• (817): View more from Texas

  i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night

  Fav 11 1499 6400

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (815): View more from Illinois

  it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her

  Fav 13 1580 5860

  share tweet
  

• (541): View more from Oregon

  You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience

  Fav 13 2066 6890

  share tweet
  
• 

  27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (571): View more from Virginia

  I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.

  Fav 5 3220 1365

  share tweet
  

• (404): View more from Georgia

  Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.

  Fav 7 5844 1310

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (818): View more from California

  She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"

  Fav 13 4500 1180

  share tweet
  

• (404): View more from Georgia

  New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.

  Fav 3 885 538

  share tweet
  

• (604): View more from British Columbia

  I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  And then someone hit me with a pool cue

  Fav 4 1287 655

  share tweet
  
• 

  23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (740): View more from Ohio

  The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0

  (1-740): View more from Ohio

  If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy

  Fav 1 711 510

  share tweet
  

• (503): View more from Oregon

  I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.

  Fav 2 456 639

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order

  Fav 5 299 170

  share tweet
  

• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.

  Fav 2 41 113

  share tweet
  

• (701): View more from North Dakota

  He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.

  Fav 2 108 18

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread

  Fav 0 48 9

  share tweet
  

Randomize