There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.