goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize