so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
