ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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