if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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