There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
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I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
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On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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