You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
