I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
